Title: The Moments In Between
Prompt: Jan prompt 2: Sunrise.
Character: susanivanova (Susan Ivanova)
Warnings: post-series, AU.
Pairings: Susan/Talia
Fandom: Babylon 5
Word count: 269
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Link:
Author's Note: Ties in with taliaivanova's journal entry.

( The Moments In Between (I) )

emotion: peaceful

Susan is sitting on her couch in her quarters, feet curled up under a blanket, with a mug of tea and a book on the table that she isn't reading. The Babcom has her personal log open and recording.

"So I'm back on station for barely a few hours - this is the first time I've even seen the inside of my quarters all day - and hell... or maybe heaven... breaks out right on my doorstep.

"I'm still trying to work out what the hell's been going on with londo_mollari, citizengkar and vir_cotto_tm. _delenn's been in charge in my absence, since John's still on Proxima at some damn summit or other... and it seems mikegaribaldi's run off to have some illicit affair - and lots of sex, I might add, from the sounds of things, not that I never suspected before - with ranger_wun.

"And now I discover he's a telepath - damn, is there anyone around here who isn't, these days? The miracle is that I seem to have missed alfredbester's most recent visit, so at least I didn't need to break a nail kicking his sorry ass off my station."

She takes a sip of tea.

"Not that I don't expect to see him again in the near future. My luck just isn't that good."

Another sip, nervously, playing with the edges of the blanket. It's not cold, but she needed something to hide under while she waits.

"Or maybe it is. That heaven I mentioned..."

Her gaze flickers to the clock on her shelf, an antique from home. It's nearly twenty-two hundred.

Susan thinks that she really should have mentioned a time beyond 'tonight'. She also thinks she should have put some vodka in her tea; as horrible as that always tastes, at least it would have calmed her down.

"...taliawinters is back."

emotion: nervous

I've lost so much in my life, you'd think that would be a hard question; if only because I have more choice than a Pak'ma'ra garbage bin. But really, it isn't. It's only difficult because - oh, hell. Mama, Ganya, my father... even Malcolm, because I did love him once before he showed his true colours. My freedom, the ability to just be normal, as normal as I try to seem.

All those people, all the innocence I've lost in my life, it was all taken from me - without my consent and against my will, no matter how I tried to hold onto it. But the thing I regret losing the most? I regret that most of all because I let it go.

I let her go.

Stood there and watched the ship that carried her away from me... damn it, I even gave them clearance to depart myself, with my own voice, from my own console, when I could have stopped it with a single word and kept her here and tried... God, I should have tried to find some way to help her.

And the worst part?

I knew every second what I was doing. I thought up a dozen ways to convince the Captain and Garibaldi, a dozen ways to hide her and even more to try and reverse what those bastards did to her mind. And still I let her go.

I don't think I've ever felt as guilty as I did that night.

Come to think on it, I don't think I've ever been quite as drunk, either.

Muse: Susan Ivanova
Fandom:: Babylon 5</i>

That's an interesting word. Typical?

Typical isn't what I'd call my days, recently.

Right now 'typical' is getting three hours' sleep a night, waiting for word that my Captain hasn't been blown into six billion flaming pieces in Proxima Three's atmosphere, and our hopes for taking back Earth successfully along with him.

I don't doubt that what we're doing is right. Or that John knows what he's doing, and he can do it well. But the waiting... yeah. I guess typical these days is waiting. For the Captain, for Delenn - for whatever's going to happen to us at the end of all this.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go show my face on every vid screen from here to Proxima. No, I didn't mention that little side-job, did I? Somehow I'm a newsreader now along with everything else.

So your question? Some days I wish I could remember what a typical day was, I really do.



Muse: Susan Ivanova
Fandom: Babylon 5, season 4 ('No Surrender, No Retreat')

emotion: busy

OOC Note:

Since this journal will be for RP as well as theatrical_muse challenges, I've decided that - for those purposes - the character will be set in later season four, to roughly fit in with all the other B5 pups running amok around here.

T_M Challenges will fit in wherever series-wise takes Susan's fancy, and should be considered diary entries in the past tense. Mostly they'll probably be separate from any RP, unless a challenge fits in with whatever the RP thread is at that point.